The Art of Checking Yourself Out

There are lots of things we do in this world that we don’t want anyone to know – things we’d get embarrassed about. We all pick our nose at some point or another – some much, much more than others. We’ve all peed in a pool. We’ve all peed our beds. And while most of us have grown out of these childhood habits, there remains one thing that will never change: we all still check ourselves out in the reflection of buildings.

Now before you even begin to argue with me on this one, I want you to remember that no one has to know. This is the beauty of the Internet. I can call you out on this one, to reveal one of your best-kept secrets, or so you thought, and you can still save face. So now that we have that out of the way – now that you can agree how much you love to see how your office windows display that brand new knee-length skirt, and that you’re sure no one will find out, let’s get down to business.

First and foremost, I encourage all of you to embrace this side of life. No more slyly stealing looks in some awfully angled window just to make sure your hair looks like it did 14 minutes ago. No more subtle flexes of your triceps or deep breaths to eliminate that nagging pooch. From now on, walk up to that window and get after it. You worked out this morning? Good. Flex every muscle you’ve got. Make that shirt cringe at the very thought of fitting you loosely today. Trying out a new pair of stilettos? Fantastic. Turn completely around in front of the mirror and admire just how perfect they make your calves look. Keep admiring. Ok, that’s too long.

See, the mere idea that you would be afraid of someone catching you stealing a glance at your reflection is almost too paradoxical to comprehend. Think about it. Here you are, feeling the pressures of a society of boobs and abs and biceps and buns. You’re judged on how you look by nearly everyone you will meet in a given day. And you buy clothes to show off your personality, to project an image to others, to feel comfortable. And yet, you’re made to feel incredibly uncomfortable 99% of the time. So much so that you’re forced to check yourself out in some random window just to make sure you don’t look like an idiot. And then you’re supposed to be embarrassed for wanting to look and feel your best? I’m just surprised there aren’t long ass lines in front of the hottest windows in the city. You know, the ones with the truest reflections.

So please. I beg of you. Let’s put an end to the insanity. I say, stare the hell out of that window. Check yourself out like you’re seeing your own reflection for the very first time. And while you’re at it, pick your nose. You’ll feel liberated.